ports officials are themselves often spectators. When they act like jackasses, they should be censured. First I want to talk about the umpire at his son’s football game.

Watching a different sport

Midland Lee hosts Odessa Permian. Two guys with season tickets have sat side by side for twenty years. Says the one: “Hey, Roscoe, you’d better talk to some people. At Benny’s today they was sayin’ your wife died this mornin’.” Replies Roscoe: “That’s right. But we ain’t gonna bury her ‘til tomorrow.”

It’s a given, then, that Dad won’t skip his son’s game. It’s also a given that Dad will have a lot of trouble keeping quiet. “But is that really a problem?” someone asks. “If I’m calling for a holding penalty, what harm does it do?” Well, how about when you’re working and you hear that fool behind you keep calling for strikes when the catcher sweeps his glove back onto the plate? What harm does that do?

Continued...