It is better to look good than to feel good

An umpire I knew wore gray Docker pants with a giant split right in the crotch, a pair of old tennis sneakers, and his wrinkled association shirt. When he worked the plate, he stuffed extra baseballs into his pants' pockets, creating two large humps on each thigh. From the waist down he looked like Dudley Do-Right on a day off.

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