n Friday night I usually watch Oz, a brutal show about prison that's on a channel called Showcase here in Canada and on HBO in the US. Immediately following that show is something called the "Red Shoe Diaries." There was a show in 2002 or so where David Duchovny of X-files fame played someone named "Jake." He came upon letters that described the intimate thoughts of women as they recalled their feelings about love, lust, and sexual encounters.

Here, six years later, I am about to play Jake. No, I don’t have any steamy, sex-filled letters from women; I think my wife would not be impressed. Rather, I have commandeered Blair’s diary, and I am about to expose his mistakes. It's not to embarrass him; it's to help other umpires avoid his problems.

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