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The Incompetent or Biased Umpire — Part I
Stupid pigs and smart pigs

Other parts in this series:
  The Incompetent or Biased Umpire — Part I — Stupid pigs and smart pigs
  The Incompetent or Biased Umpire — Part II — Incompetent Osborne?
  The Incompetent or Biased Umpire — Part III — Stupid umpires, smart coaches
  The Incompetent or Biased Umpire — Part IV — Which side are you on?
  The Incompetent or Biased Umpire — Part V — Chase your "Blues" away

need to state up front that I believe it is a very rare occurrence for an umpire to go into a game biased in favor of one team or another. We officials couldn’t really give a damn about who wins or loses. We get paid, no matter what. On the other hand, it often happens that something in the game antagonizes the umpire, and he becomes biased along the way. Woe unto that coach and team. They rarely win.

But incompetent umpires are everywhere. Each official has some part of his game that needs improvement. A loser coach complains about umpire shortcomings, but a winner learns how to take advantage of them.

Our hero, the coach

The author of the original question on the blog was serious in his quest for knowledge about how to deal with incompetent or biased officials. He had just been the beneficiary of bad officiating and wanted to know what to do when the tables were turned the other way.  He got the usual platitudes from umpire responders. Things like:

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