We have discussed umpires who are motivated by power or advancement. Coach, if you can help them meet their goals, (ego massage or promotion), they may help you. Saying nice things to their assignors or groveling on the field are great ways to manipulate those umpires.

But at this point we need to discuss a special breed of umpire, the one who is clueless about the rules but yet is on an extreme power trip.

I recounted how a coach manipulated me early in my career. Rather than arguing with me about rules regarding balks, he just adopted my rules when I was at his games. His team benefitted, for the other team stumbled on my incorrect interpretation of the rules — which "warm" memory leads me to the next trick.

Continued...