K, I could get into trouble at home with this one. Fortunately, Betty doesn’t read officiating.com very often. What the hell, she loves me. Right, Sweetheart?

If you’re married, have been, or want to be — and you’re a guy — you’ve almost certainly been through the "I’ll be ready in a minute, dear" routine when it’s already time to go out for the evening. She’ll walk in, pause in front of the TV (just when there’s a whacker play at the plate), pirouette in a new outfit (this lasts longer than the replay), and ask, "How does this look?"

Trust me. The only right answer is "beautiful." Anything less will mean a 20 minute trip back to the closet and absolutely nothing related to romance for at least three days.

What color is it?

My point? With the continuing changes in Major League umpire uniform colors and our collective desire to look like the "big guys," umpires in amateur baseball now have enough color combinations to rival many ladies’ closets. What’s frustrating is, I’ve run into an amazing number of partners who won’t commit to one shirt or another until they get to the game site. (I’m convinced they’re trying to wear as many shirts as possible before doing the wash, and they want to keep their options open as long as they can.) Even more frustrating: the small number of partners who refuse to spend a buck. Those guys have navy only, or navy and black. Remember this is Phoenix, where the typical summer ball 5:00 PM game time temperature is between 103 and 112 and the sun doesn’t set until about 7:30.

Continued...