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Third-World Plays — Part I
Heaven and Hell

That’s a ball!

he right-handed pitcher is astride the pitcher’s plate. He crosses himself, looks up to heaven, and kisses his right hand. He then grabs the ball from his glove, steps onto the pitcher's plate, and....

The umpire says.... Well, you know what he says.

Now don’t start claiming that the ump is an agnostic or atheist: He isn’t; he says he was an altar boy. He was simply enforcing the rule exactly as it’s written:

[It is illegal for the pitcher to bring] his pitching hand to the mouth without distinctly wiping off the pitching hand before it touches the ball. Penalty: A ball shall be awarded each time a pitcher violates this rule and subsequently engages the pitching plate. (NFHS 6-2-1e and Penalty)

When Gregg Onteveros called me, I first thought he was kidding. I second thought he was being overly officious. I third decided he had done the right thing!

Continued...


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