Can you work?

aturday afternoon. The exact time was 12:55. Mama and I were just sitting down to watch Humphrey Bogart star in In a Lonely Place. Our peace is shattered by a phone ringing.

"I hate the phone," Mama said.

Nick Cantu, a friend for 35 years, coach, DI umpire, wasted no time on amenities: "Carl, can you work a Polomino game today."

"Sure. Where and when?"

"Uh, at my field is where. Uh, now is when. I’ll start the game for you. $50, guy."

From hangup to walking (I never run) onto the field: 11 minutes, which included putting on compression Under Armour, neck to toes, my PONY baseball cap, but no cup or plate shoes.

You see, part of the deal was I would call from behind the mound. Yes, my friends, it was the one umpire system as practiced by an old, fat man.

Said Tio Nick: "Top of the first, one out, runners on the corner, 1 and 1 on the batter."

Said I, pointing in turn to each coach in the box: "Fair/foul down the line is your responsibility. Play ball!"

Continued...